How We Became Writers

When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a concert pianist, not a writer. I loved books and read anything and everything but never saw myself as a writer. That was until I was introduced to the writing world in elementary school.

In Grade three, a local publisher came to our school to teach us the ins and outs of the writing and publishing world. Our class got to write, edit, bind and “publish” our own books. Okay, so they were written on wide-lined paper; the binding process consisted of stapling and laminating colored card stalk paper; and the publishing part meant our books were put in the school library for other students to enjoy. But it was an awesome experience I never forgot! It inspired me to start a journal. (Something I still do today!)

Writing was a positive way for me to work through issues or problems. I never wrote from anger or self-pity. I wrote to feel better about myself and life in general so negativity was not allowed. I mostly wrote about the daily goings-on in my life, poetry, fiction and creative nonfiction. But I never let anyone else read my work. It was like giving people a glimpse into my soul and that scared me. So, I just kept that part of my creative self private—until a close friend found and read a story I wrote called, “The Grey Felt Hat.”

“Wow, Chynna,” she said. “You have to get this published. Or at least let other people read it. It’s a wonderful story and I think the message can help people.”

Was she crazy? I wasn’t a writer. Writers knew a bunch of big words and spoke eloquently. They wrote great stories easily that everyone wanted to read. I thought she was just being nice and filed it away for a few years. Then I discovered a wonderful magazine called Byline. They had monthly writing contests with one category being inspirational. I remembered the story my friend loved and decided to give it a shot. “What the heck!” I thought. “I have just as good a chance as anyone else. And no one will even know I entered it.”

Imagine my surprise when a few months later I received a cheque in the mail with a tiny note attached: “Beautiful story, Chynna. Congratulations! Now go out and get it published.” That same feeling of excitement I had in elementary school when I saw my little book published resurfaced. I took it as a sign that I should give this writing thing a try and I’ve never looked back.

I consider myself so fortunate to have been given a gift of writing that I can use to reach out to other people. I’m no longer afraid to open and share that part of my soul as I’ve come to see writing not only as a way to heal myself, but to give others the courage to heal too. I have many people who’ve helped me get to where I am today with my writing but I’ll always be most grateful to that wonderful publisher who gave me my first big break.

I guess I’m a perfect example of how every step we take in life leads us to the next place we’re supposed to be. OH! I should mention the inspiration for my entering that writing contest. My little sister came home from school one day with a worn, faded book she took out from the library that she wanted me to read to her: “The Adventures of Super Bug.”

(Sorry you wasted all that money on piano lessons, Grandpa!)

CHYNNA TAMARA LAIRD – is a psychology student and freelance writer living in Edmonton, Alberta with her three daughters [Jaimie (five), Jordhan (three), and baby Sophie (newborn)] and baby boy, Xander (twenty months). She plans to help children and families living with Sensory Processing Disorder and other special needs.
You’ll find her work in many parenting, inspirational, Christian and writing publications in Canada, United States, Australia, and Britain. She’s most proud of her personal essay in Chicken Soup For The Soul: Children With Special Needs and her recently published children’s picture book, I’m Not Weird, I Have SID.
Please visit Chynna’s website at www.lilywolfwords.ca to get a feel for her work and what inspires her.

I became a writer by reading the books off the shelves in our house in the country and then walking the woods to dream it all in. I became a writer by reading books during recess and taking the punishment from children who pinged my legs with rubberbands for being so dorky. I became a writer by watching my father write and listening to what he wrote…longing to hear what he created with the magic of his mind. Here is my poem “Scribbler,” from “Sightlines: A Poet’s Diary,” written in hommage to my father, Erwin A. Thompson. My father, in his 90s now, is still writing new poems, songs, and novels. He’s written his life in words to share. That’s how and why I became a writer.

SCRIBBLER
by Janet Grace Riehl
from “Sightlines: A Poet’s Diary”

His back warmed in front of the fire.
Stretched on the floor to read his words.
Words scribbled at work as rain or snow fell outside.
A pipefitter couldn’t work then.
Inclement weather days, the company called them.
As union steward he negotiated contracts
with management whoop-de-dos
to get those days properly paid for.

Tucked in back of the locker room
while other linemen and pipefitters
gossiped and played cards,
he scribbled away in spidery handwriting.
School-lined paper in a blue cloth binder.

He didn’t need a creative writing
MFA from a high-faluten’ university
He carried stories in his head.
They had to come out,
or his head would burst.
He warmed his nest of stories like a broody hen.

At night when he couldn’t sleep,
clouds drifted over his muse moon,
salting plots and characters
to rain down on his lined pages.

Other kids prayed for snow days to skip school.
I won’t say we didn’t enjoy
snow cream, snowballs, and snowmen.
But we also greeted Pop at the door,
ready for the next installment.
Like Dickens’ cliff-hangers
that first appeared in magazines,
Dad’s stories came in serials.

Neither quite knew what might happen next.
Dickens and Dad wrote up to the cliff
and then left us hanging.

But, we got to write by proxy.
|”What will happen next?”
“Will the boy get the girl or will the girl get the boy?”

Dickens and Dad scribbled
sentiment and chaste romance.
In the gallery a huge cheering section
rooted for the underdog.

My father channeled Charles Dickens
without knowing it.
The haves and the have-nots.
A heart of gold beneath coal-stained clothes.
The bliss of that first kiss.
(No need to say more.)
The happy ending, breath exhaled.

“An author only has one story,” he advised
over gingersnaps and ice-cream,
our late-night snack.
“Imagined in as many ways you can.”

Pop wrote 40 books in intermissions of a life of toil.
A mechanical pencil
tucked in the bib of mud-caked overalls
marked cuts on boards
and scribbled words that still mark mine.

Janet Grace Riehl is the author of “Sightlines: A Poet’s Diary,” a
downhome family love story beyond death told in accessible story
poems. She’s a member of Author’s Guild, registered with Poets and
Writers, and widely published in national literary magazines and
several anthologies. Visit Janet’s blog “Riehl Life: Village Wisdom
for the 21st Century” at http://www.riehlife.com for more thoughts and
information about making connections through the arts, across
cultures, generations, and within the family. You can also read sample
poems and other background information from “Sightlines: A Poet’s
Diary” on Janet’s website.

How I became a writer is forever connected to the following experience,

excerpted in part here from my latest book–An Artist Empowered: Define and

Establish Your Value as an artist–Now.

 

THE GRAMMAR ENIGMA

 

“Teaching without teaching . . .” said the young Zen disciple. “Is that

truly possible?”

 

“Yes,” replied the master. “When the student learns without learning.”

 

There is more than one way to gain knowledge, and that insight alone is

enough to get things going. I sat in the class with what seemed an acute

case of acid reflux. This was English 101, and I was a college freshman. The

bushy bearded Professor Fulton had a reputation for being aloof and tough,

which spelled a major problem for me.

 

PROVIDENCE

For some unexplained reason, I couldn’t grasp English grammar. Somehow, I

had squeezed through high school with my grammar block intact. But now the

syntax was about to hit the fan. After a few classes, I saw the chalk on the

blackboard: this professor expected me to know grammar basics, which wasn’t

altogether unreasonable. He wasn’t sympathetic to my plight as my first and

second assignments came back with the F seal of disapproval.

 

I was certain that I would fail this course, and passing was a prerequisite

for graduating. Providence had other plans. A month into my freshman year, I

was in a serious car accident. The other driver had run a stop sign and

broadsided my tiny Fiat, which rolled over and over and over. I lost

consciousness after the third tumble. I woke up in a strange bed, a bed with

railings on either side. I was in the hospital. My doctor informed me I was

lucky to be alive and that there would be a long recovery.

 

“What about college?” I asked the doctor.

 

“Not this year, son.”

 

I leaned back against the pillow in total disbelief. I would have been

disappointed or even depressed, but the pain was my immediate problem. I

passed out-most likely from shock, and the news of losing my first year in

college didn’t help me, either.

 

SAME TIME, NEXT YEAR

Nearly a year later, I was back in English 101 with a new group of freshman.

This time I had the dapper Professor Edwards, who also had a reputation for

being hard on his students. It was inevitable. Before the end of the period,

the professor was handing back our first blue book assignment, a short

story, along with our grades. I had been dreading this moment, and here it

was. Professor Edwards walked along the aisles, handing the blue books over

to each student. I looked at him, and he looked at me with a gleam in his

eye. I stared at the cover of my blue book and saw something I had never

seen on one of my English assignments.

 

There it was in red pen-a glorious A for content, and alongside, an F for

grammar that reflected my lack of understanding the rules of punctuation.

But I already knew that. More important, he had acknowledged that I had

something to say.

 

DECIPHERING THE SEMICOLON

I remember leaving the English class, and as I walked across the campus to

my demanding biology course, a miraculous thing was taking place. I suddenly

began to understand where and why to place a comma in a sentence.

 

Punctuation marks and fragments of code swirled overhead like asteroids

around Saturn. I wasn’t thinking about punctuation; somehow, the rules of

grammar were surfacing into my awareness from some unknown abyss. By the

time I reached my biology class, even that ‘bane’ the semicolon made sense.

What had been a frustrating puzzle a mere hour earlier was now becoming

clear, with seemingly no effort on my part. The gates had opened into

grammar heaven, and this time I had my foot in the door. I knew I could get

grammar now.

 

Nothing could stop me! For future reference, this is the feeling you want to

remember whenever rejection appears and tries to write you off . . .

Getting a foothold inside the realm of grammar was something that moved my

story forward. Having some talent as a writer and the ability to see beneath

the surface of things, I felt that one day these attributes would lead me to

fulfillment if not riches.

 

WANDERLUST TO LA: YEARS LATER

My perfect superficial life had dissipated. I couldn¹t shake this feeling of

wanderlust. I wanted to write; I wanted to hang-glide; I wanted adventure.

She wouldn¹t budge to a new place unless she had a doorman, and I had a good

job waiting. I shed my job in public relations, the middle class trappings,

the wife, the doorman, and drove west to Los Angeles . . .

 

California beckoned. There, I would confront my character?life lessons I had

to discover for myself as a man, as a writer, as an individual who had

traded in the illusion of the American Dream for reality of life on ?the

razor¹s edge¹. In Los Angeles, I accumulated exciting and unique

experiences, as one would collect fine works of art. Among my adventures, I

became the editor of a magazine run by a playboy who threw in a new Corvette

as part of my compensation package.

 

After my first day on the job, I drove off in my muscle machine along Santa

Monica Boulevard and parked in front of the trendy boutiques that faced

Century City. I leaned against the gleaming cherry red sports car and

watched the late afternoon sun bathe the skyscrapers in a brilliant and

shimmering soft orange. I had everything: money, a girl, a car to reckon

with, and a plum job.

 

I could buy whatever I liked and I had chucked the corporate world to boot.

This was it. I was on top of the world. At least, it seemed that way in the

twilight as neon lights from the sidewalk shops reflected off the Corvette.

 

[After this episode as an editor, I became embroiled with an heiress; this

tumultuous experience eventually catapulted me to the right place in my

timeline to learn what I must learn.]

 

WILLIAM HOLDEN AND I

Leaving those many millions of dollars and a lifestyle so many would ?die¹

for in the hills of Hollywood wasn¹t easy. If left unchallenged, my ego

would have held on to the lurid lure of glitter. But, then again, I had no

choice in the matter. Because of various unstable characters in this drama

of mine, I sensed that I might end up floating face down in a swimming pool

like poor William Holden does in Sunset Boulevard?the film eerily traced my

own storyline as a writer.

 

——-

 

It is at this point that I met a great Zen master, a painter and writer who

would fill in the blanks; my journey of self-discovery with him would last

for another decade. Relative patience is a virtue.

 

Today, I write and paint knowing firsthand that an artist has no medium.

 

[Eden Maxwell’s new book, An Artist Empowered. is now available. For more about Eden go to www.edensart.com. 

 

Disasters have played a large role in getting me to

write. In fact, 9/11 started my writing career. I was

working as a clinical counselor with children,

adolescents and their families. When 9/11 occurred, I,

like so many other people, felt helpless and wanted to

do something. I started getting phone calls from

parents asking, ?What should I tell my kids about

9/11?? Still feeling helpless, I sat down and wrote

“Ten Tips for Talking with Children About Terrorism”

 

http://www.timwarneka.com/PDF/10tipstotsWEB.pdf.

 

I emailed “Ten Tips” out to a few people, and it

quickly took on a life of its own. I started getting

emails from all over the world ? from newsletters and

magazines, from hospitals and a variety of media

channels. I even heard from a number of parents who

had witnessed the planes crashing. People expressed

their relief at being able to know how to talk to

their kids. Everyone wanted to post “Ten Tips” on

their websites, and I was more than happy to oblige.

 

At the time, I was making the transition from being a

practicing psychotherapist to keynote speaking,

coaching & consulting. The writing bug had bitten bad,

and I spent the next several years working on my first

book, LEADING PEOPLE THE BLACK BELT WAY: CONQUERING

THE FIVE CORE PROBLEMS FACING LEADERS TODAY

(http://www.asogomi.com), a book about Embodied

Leadership Technology that draws from Emotional

Intelligence research as well as my years of training

in the revolutionary non-violent martial art of Aikido

(”The Art of Peace”).

 

I received over 75 rejection letters from the larger

publishing houses. I was lamenting these rejections to

a colleague when he suggested Dan Poynter’s wonderful

book on self-publishing. I bought the book, read it

cover to cover, and soon after launched my own

publishing company, Asogomi Publishing International

(http://www.asogomi.com).

LEADING PEOPLE THE BLACK BELT WAY has been Asogomi’s

best-seller to date, with thousands of copies being

sold in foreign rights alone.

 

Shortly after, Hurricane Katrina ravaged the United

States. I volunteered as a mental health professional

with a large disaster relief organization. To help

keep myself sane, I kept a journal and a blog during

the time I volunteered. Upon my return, friends and

colleagues urged me to write my experiences down. I

wrote about my experience in my next book, HEALING

KATRINA: VOLUNTEERING IN POST-HURRICANE MISSISSIPPI

(http://www.healingkatrina.com).

 

As a martial artist, I’ve always been intrigued with

Asian philosophy. As part of my own healing from my

post-Katrina volunteer work, I had been re-reading

some of the Chinese classics. My brother, a

professional photographer, was showing me some of his

urban landscape pictures one day. Something just

clicked in my head, and the idea for my next book was

born. Together, Patrick and I finished THE WAY OF

LEADING PEOPLE: UNLOCKING YOUR INTEGRAL LEADERSHIP

SKILLS WITH THE TAO TE CHING:

 

http://www.wayofleadingpeople.com

 

Since the publication of these books, I’ve been

offering keynote speaking and leadership coaching to

leaders across America. I customize every single

keynote speech that I give, so my writing skills

support me very well.

 

As I?ve talked to leaders around the country, I?ve

heard countless leaders express a deep longing to

understand the spiritual dimensions of leadership. A

life-long Roman Catholic, I wrote my newest book,

BLACK BELT LEADER, PEACEFUL LEADER: AN INTRODUCTION TO

CATHOLIC SERVANT LEADERSHIP:

 

http://www.catholicservantleader.com

 

BLACK BELT LEADER, PEACEFUL LEADER is designed to be

used throughout the Church-in high schools, youth

programs, colleges, universities, lay reading groups

and seminaries. Perfect for emerging student leaders

as well as adults in sacred and secular leadership

positions, BLACK BELT LEADER, PEACEFUL LEADER shows

you how to be an effective Catholic Servant Leader

while enhancing the lives of those you lead.

 

 

[Leadership expert Timothy Warneka provides Keynote

Speeches, Leadership Training and Coaching around the

world. All of Tim’s work is based on research into

Leadership Science, Emotional Intelligence &

principles from the revolutionary non-violent martial

art of Aikido, which he has studied for almost 20

years. Tim offers organizational leadership through

his Black Belt Consulting Group website at:

 

http://www.blackbeltconsultants.com

 

Tim offers Catholic Servant Leadership Keynote

Speeches and Training through his Catholic Servant

Leadership website at:

 

http://www.catholicservantleader.com

 

Tim publishes his books, posters and other leadership

educational material through Asogomi Publishing

International, on-line at:

 

http://www.asogomi.com

 

Tim offers Life Coaching and Counseling at:

 

http://www.timwarneka.com

To refer to myself as a writer feels more than a little awkward.  Today I received an e-mail from Joel Heffner, the subject of which was “I’ve been admiring your 6S stories…” and then went on to describe the site he started “How We Became Writers.”

I’m 62 years old as of this past December 25th, and as of today, I now have a new title: writer. “Writer of what?” you may ask, and “Where have you published?”

The answers, I’m afraid would have to be “nothing” and “nowhere.”  In fact, I think I began to write brief, little ditties was when our youngest daughter left for college.  The empty nest I thought I had prepared for was far too spacious for me and my husband, and I soon became depressed.  I don’t remember how I came upon the site, sixsentences.blogspot.com, but I submitted a 6S and was surprised when it was accepted. I was even more surprised to receive positive comments about what I wrote.

It was quite a delicious experience, and I caught the bug.

Since then I have written a number of things for crittersbar.com. That has been extremely worthwhile for me because the criticisms are direct and honest.  So honest that at times I’ve thought - “What the hell do you think you’re doing? These people have talent!”

To add my name to the current list of writers on this site (yes, I’ve read all the places people have published) feels ludicrous. But, I’ve been invited by Joel Heffner, whom I don’t know and have already insulted by writing him back asking him if I was invited along with the hordes of other names on 6S.
When he said I was the only one, I immediately responded.

And why not? I am an uneducated, broadminded, Jewish woman with a great sense of humor, a visual learner with lots of snapshots stored in my head with stories to tell about each picture. I’m not afraid to say what I think, although some may think me crude. I have been married since 1975 to the same wonderful, bright man. We have two children, one of whom is 28 years old and has been chronically ill for many years and an almost 22 year old daughter, in her senior year of college about to enter graduate school. I love to read, garden and enjoy young people. I refer to myself as “The Child Whisperer” because children feel very comfortable in my presence.  I suspect it’s because I’ve never really grown up. My exterior is funny and I’m talented at making people laugh. Inside, it’s rather dark, but I try to view it as a gift that allows me to understand people.

You can find some of my writings on sixsentences.blogspot.com and crittersbar.com. I do not write poetry, but this first attempt is simply a formal invitation to visit the sites for which I write.

HEAD TRIP

Come take a trip inside my head.
Be careful please and lightly tread.
You’ll find few happy parts; instead
the bulk of which is filled with dread.
You see that pulsing bulge of red?
Don’t step on it or I’ll be dead.

I’d rather that you walk aside
the back, it’s where I like to hide
the tension I keep deep inside.
It’s rich with tales that I’ve denied
loved ones to whom I’ve often lied.
Perhaps if touched they’ll fall outside.

Mind the rough patch, I’ll explain.
A place that opened leaked my brain.
Discovered that my pillow stain
came from my ear; that was its drain.
They snipped the tissue, can’t complain.
My head is almost new again.

I hope that I’m not boring you.
Our trip is far from being through.
My promise is to keep it true.
I need this exploration, too.
Intentions? Mine are hardly new:
examine things I can’t undo.

Caroline Wells
[Editor’s Note: 6S at www.sixsentences.blogspot.com publishes stores that are exactly six sentences long.]

I’ve always written. In fact, I even owned a newspaper well before my teenage years, installing myself as editor-in-chief. I grew up on 10 acres, in the last house on the left on a dead end street in a small town in central Illinois. It occurred to me one day that our deafeningly quiet, completely uneventful neighborhood needed its own newspaper, so I set about writing one. I gathered and reported on the latest “breaking news”, manually typed it up using those purple, inky copy sheets between the blank pages, and sold it for 10 cents per copy. I have absolutely no recollection of how many I sold, nor how many issues I put out; but I remember clearly how passionate I was about writing it in the first place.

I was a voracious reader. In grade school I got into trouble for reading the books I had hidden in my desk while pretending to pay attention to the teacher. Other kids looked forward to playing on summer softball leagues; I looked forward to the summer library reading contests, which without fail I easily conquered long before the month of June was even over. I continued to write. Birthday gifts of poetry for my grandparents, fictional stories that my mother, as my official proofreader, would read while hiding her amused smile at my sometimes unusual phrases and choice of words.

Composition, English, grammar, literature and language classes came easily to me and were my favorite subjects. I worked on the school newspaper in what is now considered junior high; I believe I even did a stint as editor. In high school I made my way easily through all of those “favorite” classes, it was the science and math that completely threw me - and I hated. With the exception of one year at the local community college, which to be honest really only served as a larger dating pool, I skipped college. This was in part due to the fact that no one in my family had ever gone, so it wasn’t particularly encouraged nor expected, but also because I just couldn’t wait to get out there and experience that big, exciting world I’d spent years reading about.

I never stopped reading like a fiend, but didn’t begin to write seriously until I landed back at a community college. Exposure to that bigger world had planted the seed to pursue my college degree. The idea gnawed at me for some time and finally, at the age of 31, I began spending my days working full-time and my evenings sitting in a classroom, fervently pursuing the prerequisite courses required to apply to a 4-year college to study of all subjects, nutrition - a 100% science and math-based discipline.

Fast-forward several years. I’m a registered, licensed dietitian, and a certified personal trainer. I kicked off my new career doing quite a bit of writing (and actually getting paid for it), while building a private practice and nutrition consulting business. I now spend my days writing and speaking about nutrition, food, health, and fitness through NutriFit, Inc., the company that I founded. I conduct corporate wellness nutrition and fitness programs, continue to maintain a limited private nutrition counseling practice, write a regular newspaper feature (for a REAL newspaper) called “Eat Well, Work Better”, and am nourishing my freelance writing career after putting it on hold to pursue my master’s degree in health psychology (currently working on that thesis). I’m the author of two booklets, “Nutrition At Work: 60 Simple Ways To Eat Healthy On The Road And At The Office”, and “Eat Healthy, Live Healthy: 114 Easy Ways To Make Good Nutrition A Habit”.

Isn’t life delicious?

[Cathy Leman, RD, LD, NSCA-Certified Personal Trainer, is the author of “Nutrition At Work: 60 Simple Ways To Eat Healthy On The Road And At The Office” and “Eat Healthy, Live Happy: 114 Easy Ways to Make Good Nutrition A Habit.” She can be reached at www.eatwellgetstrong.com.]

I’ve been writing since I was six years old but never published even a short story.  I knew I was good but there was no way to prove it.  The internet provided the solution.  A friend of mine had a website, www.brokentype.com, and he knew I had an idea for a novel.  We went out for dinner at a sushi restaurant and discussed the book and he got so excited he wanted to put it on his website.  At least that would give people a chance to read it, right?  I knew it was a book about zombies but that was mostly all I had and I said it would take me six months to do the research, work up an outline, and so on.  He said no.

He said “You start on Monday.”

So I wrote the book as I was publishing it.  We serialized it in sixty chapters–a new chapter would appear every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  For five months I posted my chapters and waited patiently, hoping someone would come by and read it.  The first hit I got was from a former room mate who said she didn’t like zombies (too scary!) but she wished me well.  The second chapter got seventeen hits, but someone left a nice comment saying they were interested in seeing more.

By the end of the five months, I had thousands of readers coming back three times a week for the next installment.  They were hooked, they said.  They loved it, they said.  They pointed out where I got things wrong and they helped spur me on to write a better book.

I was working on the sequel when a publisher emailed me and said he wanted to buy three books.  I said I could have them for him on Monday.

David Wellington is the author of five horror novels, the latest being 99 Coffins, a Historical Vampire Tale.  Some of his work can be read for free online at www.davidwellington.net.  He lives in New York City with his wife, Elisabeth, and his dog, Mary.

As a self-employed web publisher, I experience the best and worst of both worlds.  On the pretty hand, I get to work in my gown, robe, and fuzzy pink slippers whenever the mood to do so hits.  I plan my own frequent runs to Starbucks, I can take as many timeouts to pet my cats as I choose, and I bring my work to a dead hault every weekday at 1:00.  Funny, but everytime I do so, One Life to Live just happens to be on the television and a snack appears in my hand.  I run with it.

On the ugly hand, no one treats me like I actually work and conversations such as the one below are frequent:

Person:  What do you do for a living?
Me:  I’m a writer and web publisher, first of all.  I’m also a graphic artist and run a hosting and web design business.
Person:  What have you had published?
Me:  I have 16 web sites and 16 blogs.  My subjects include self help, cats, dream prophesy, music, mental fitness, old hollwood, celebrities, fashion, book reviews, technology, web design, and Kentucky.
Person:  Ohhh, I thought you were a writer writer.

A writer writer.  Strange as the phrase was when I heard it, I still found my own inner voice screaming, “I am a writer writer!!!”  I spend 8 hours a day writing, researching, and publishing what I’ve written. I do this in addition to being a wife and mother to three humans and four cats.  The money made from my sites and blogs helps us financially but the reward I get from doing them is far, far more valuable.

I’ve always been fascinated with words and get a great pleasure from either taking them on a joy ride or reading as someone else takes them on a joy ride (Dean Koontz:  Master of the joy ride!).  In school, I was the one who looked forward to written assignments, yet was also the one always writing and passing notes.

My dream was to be a writer and I actually had a children’s book written and typed.  I never sent it in or actively persued my dream after I got married because my dream shifted to solely being mommy to our three beautiful little girls that came right away.  I fell in love with cooking and with homeschooling our daughters.

As part of their schooling, we taught ourselves how to create web sites, graphic art, and, eventually, we put up a couple of web sites.  Within a year, we had our own web design and hosting business online.

When my girls reached the high school grades, they required me at their side less and less - so I took on more web sites and blogs.  I kept thinking, “I’m writing again!”  The creative outlet made me feel incredible, and as a bonus - I began making money from the web publications, which, with three girls eyeing college was a very good thing, indeed!

I’m making a living doing what I’ve always dreamed of doing.  I feel like I’m truly able to reach people and touch their heart with my own.  That may not make me a writer writer - but it does make me blessed.

A few of my web publications are:
Self Help Daily (http://www.selfhelpdaily.com)
Buttermilk Press (http://www.buttermilkpress.com)
The Mental Fitness Center (http://www.thementalfitnesscenter.com)

I wanted to record my family’s stories about life on our South Dakota farm, in the fashion of Laura Ingalls Wilder, and a correspondence course with the Institute of Children’s Literature got me started. After several years of working on my manuscript, I self-published “A Farm in the Hidewood: My South Dakota Home” in 2001. The last lesson in the correspondence course was the first chapter of my second book. I initially thought, “I only have one book in me,” but by the time I got to that last lesson, the idea had formed. I wrote the first draft of “Navy Greenshirt: A Leader Made, Not Born,” while stationed with the U.S. Navy in Japan in 1997. I self-published it in 2001.

By then I’d decided I wanted to write biographies as a retirement career, and I started researching the life of Country Music Hall of Fame member Faron Young. One of my favorite singers, he had died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound in 1996. The University of Illinois Press published “Live Fast, Love Hard: The Faron Young Story” in 2007.

I’m a retired U. S. Navy captain who lives near Washington D.C., and I’m now working on my second CMHOF biography, “Twentieth Century Drifter: The Life of Marty Robbins.” My Web site at http://dianediekman.com describes my books and contains articles about my Navy experiences.

Until about fifteen years ago, I never thought I would ever end up writing a book. Why? Because I never thought I would have something to write an entire book about. However, a couple of decades ago, I realized I had an important topic that needed to be put into a book: sibling rivalry. I had developed and effective method of teaching parents why their kids fight so much and how get them to dramatically decrease the hostilities. So, for a few years in my spare time, I wrote and rewrote (and rewrote) my book on sibling rivalry.

When I felt it was good enough to be published, I went through the typical route of trying to find an agent to represent me to publishers. I discovered it is not an easy task. Unless you are already a successfully published author, it is difficult to find an agent. And without an agent, it is very difficult to get a publisher.

After about two years of fruitless pursuit of an agent, an event happened that led me to abandon these efforts and become involved with a different mission. The event? The shooting at Columbine High School. That horrific event woke the country up to the plight of victims of bullying. I happened to have become an expert in teaching kids how to stop being bullied. But I noticed that the country was going about trying to tackle the problem in the wrong way. Instead of teaching kids how to stop being bullied, it was going to try to stop kids from being bullies. Because of my great deal of experience in treating sibling rivalry (which is essentially no different from the problem of bullying in schools) I knew this approach would not only fail, but make the problem even worse (and research has since proven me to be right). So I spent my free time creating a website to teach kids and school staff how to solve the bullying problem. This website I called Bullies2Buddies.com.

A couple of years later, with more bullying experience under my belt, I felt I was ready to write a more comprehensive book for victims of bullying. So I wrote Bullies to Buddies: How to turn your enemies into friends. Rather than wasting time looking for an agent, I decided to self-publish, and I’m glad I did.

You may be wondering whatever happened to my book on sibling rivalry? The basic ideas were incorporated in a manual I wrote for both parents and teachers called A Revolutionary Guide for Reducing Aggression between Children. Instead of addressing only parents, as the sibling rivalry book does, it shows teachers how the same processes are involved in bullying in school. And it teaches both parents and teachers how to reduce aggression between kids with little effort. This manual is available for free on my website. I also have a slightly revised, printed edition that I sell for a modest sum.

I haven’t abandoned the sibling rivalry book. Parents do deserve that book, which has more detail than the “Revolutionary Guide,” but it will have to wait to some future date, when I have more time to devote to it. Perhaps when the “anti-bullying” craze dies down.

[Israel C. (Izzy) Kalman, MS, is a psychotherapist and Nationally Certified School Psychologist who lives in Staten Island, New York. He travels extensively throughout the country presenting seminars to mental health professionals and educators on anger control, bullying and relationship problems. Izzy Kalman is the author of Bullies to Buddies: How to turn your enemies into friends.]